Shitty Computer Techs Part 2

At this point, I'm rather enraged. Nothing ever goes right with this software. Essentially, I knew how to check and verify the validity of that error that popped up, but I didn't have the expertise or the tools to really fix it. This was especially true since any modification to the SQL backend required a tool only the Xactware techs could use.

So I went to check and sure enough, "xm8_shared" didn't exist. In it's place?

"xm8_shared1"

Worst thing is, I couldn't connect to it at all via the SQL command console. Only thing I could really hope at this point was that the Xactimate backup actually backed that up.

I ended up calling the Xactware techs and spending the next 4 hours on the phone with one who seemed to know how to handle SQL databases with ease. He webex'd into the server and verified the xm8_shared database actually still existed and fortunately, it did. Now the question became how to get it corrected. Changing the XML files that point the client software to the database location didn't work. Recreating the database didn't work. Uninstalling SQL server and reinstalling it didn't work. It was pretty obvious something was there cockblocking the client software from seeing that database.

Eventually, we got the software to work, albeit patchwork. When they'd open it up, it'd still give them an error, but hitting retry or cancel would let them access their data. At that point in the day, that was good enough. They could work and it meant the Xactware tech and I had a chance to step away and think about what we could be missing that's causing that error.

So we basically button up all our work and I go back to finish setting up what started all of this crap to begin with...that Blackberry app. Come to find out, most of it had already set up, I just needed to verify it was working, which it was, so thankfully I didn't have to spend more than another 10 minutes on that.

Tuesday of next week rolls around and I'm still poring over Xactware support docs trying to figure out what could have happened. I get a text from my favorite employee/successful woman stating:

"can't upload estimates, got some due. xact tech says it's a network hardware issue."

Man was I annoyed.

I replied with: "give the xactware tech this case no. and tell him he's an idiot."

How in the hell can one say it's a network issue when clearly everything else on the network is running fine? Internet's fine. Their accounting software is running fine. Their printers are all working fine. Hell, even their remote web workplace was running fine. To further that point, how the hell was said tech webex'd into her damn workstation if the network wasn't fine? Wouldn't you think if there were some sort of network hardware issue something else wouldn't be working as well?

"he says he can't ping the server"

... . . . ."what's his name?"

"devin"

"click start, click run, type 'cmd', type 'ping 192.168.1.2'. does it say 'request timed...' or 'reply from...'?

"reply from..."

"now type "ping 'servername'"

"reply from..."

"tell him to call me."

"ok, but be nice."

"no."


So "Devin" calls me and he sounds pretty much like I expected. Like a complete and total f***ing moron. How the hell did this guy get hired? I could only surmise that he was exceptional at reading flow charts and not thinking, which seemed to fit the bill for most of the level 1 Xactware techs. Anyway...

"Forgive me for saying this, but how can you screw up a simple ping command?"

"What do you mean?"

"You told her you couldn't ping the server and I just walked her through the process via text and pinged it by it's DNS name and it's IP address with successful responses."

"It wasn't replying when I tried it."

"Can you spell ping?"

At this point, I was remoted into the workstation he was remoted into. I told him to duplicate what he did.

ping 19216812

/facepalm

"Does your period work?"

"Yes"

"Ok, you missed about 3 of them in that command."

"Oh."

"Send me to a better tech. I don't want you touch the shit here anymore."

Then I called SCPSW back and told her he was a complete fuck up and to be expecting a call from a different tech, hopefully the one I had been dealing with the previous Friday.

Later that afternoon, I got another text from her stating they had band-aided the problem, but they needed me to talk to them ASAP. I called them up, got the same tech I had from before and was informed that I would most likely need to uninstall and reinstall Xactimate completely from the network along with SQL server before that error would go away.

That didn't sit too well with me. The next day I was going to have to actually be able to do something on that scale was the upcoming Friday, which was 3 days out. That or go burn the midnight oil and pull an all-nighter. So before getting off the phone, I double checked to make sure they were mostly functional and they were. So I scheduled them for Friday and at the very least, it gave them a heads up on how to plan that day as it related to Xactimate.

Thursday rolls around and apparently, another issue has come up and SCPSW has taken it upon herself to talk to the Xactimate techs again before asking me.

On a mostly un-related note, I should probably rethink how I train people in the art of asking for technical support. I probably need to add "If I tell you shit's broken and it will be fixed on X day, don't try to get it fixed sooner or have anyone else screw with it until it's fixed..."

Common sense? Maybe...

Anyway, she managed to get "Devin" again.

"'devin' says we can't open a profile cause of network hardware issues"

/snap

"And you believe him?"

"I don't know..."

"I do. Tell him to fuck off and go shove his head through a monitor."

"That's not nice."

"I'm not in a nice mood when it comes to this issue. Last thing I need is some sort of imbecilic, training wheels wearing, flow chart reading idiot getting in there and making things worse. Tell him to escalate you and to never answer a call from your login again."

"Ok."

About 20 minutes later, I get another phone call from her. This time I'm on 3-way with her and...Devin.

Big. Big. Mistake.

"Hello?"

"Yes, I'm here."

"Oh Hi. I just wanted to say there's definitely some sort of network har...."

"If you say those 3 words again, so help me I will come to your facility and get you fired. Use your goddamn head pal, not your flow chart."

"It can't be anything else if I can't talk to the server."

"Really? Everything BUT your application is talking to the server. Your application was talking to the server before we uninstalled the workstation off that laptop to set up the blackberry app base. Don't give me this shit about network hardware. So unless you can tell me everything the uninstall process does, which was the point the issue was created, stop wasting my f***ing time with your flow chart bullshit."

"I don't know then sir."

"Awesome, a non-flow chart answer. Did you check the firewall? Did it maybe do something to that?"

"Yes, the firewall is off."

"Off? There were exceptions written for SQL and Xactware. Did you turn it off?"

"Yes."

"Are you in the server right now?"

"No."

"What about DNS entries, have you tried changing the XML file's pointer to the server's IP address instead of it's name or running the ipconfig /flushdns command?"

"I can try that now."

Few seconds later...

"Didn't work."

"Ok we'll just proceed as planned tomorrow. You're just going to have to call your insurance carriers and either fax them a copy of your work or tell them it will be there before close tomorrow."

Not satisfied this guy was capable of actually checking those things and somewhat pissed off at myself that I didn't think of the server's firewall sooner, I made a beeline for the nearest computer so I could check for myself.

Normally, when a program uninstalls, it's not going to modify firewall entries on ANOTHER computer. Maybe on it's own if necessary, but not on a different computer. When I had initially set this server up about a year ago, the firewall cost me about 2 hours of time. I had incorrectly assumed that the SQL Server 64-bit installation package would write it's own firewall entries/exceptions, but it didn't.

Knowing the Xactimate installation process was already a piece of shit, I didn't want to leave anything to chance at this point. Upon logging in, I see...

The server firewall is on.

(Good)

The exceptions for SQL and Xactimate commands were missing.

(Bad)

How in the hell did that happen. "Devin" has proved his idiocy yet again by essentially lying about the server firewall and Xactware's developers have some explaining to do. Well they might. I could have been that "Devin" was in there screwing around with the server. I turned the firewall off and magically...

...that error and all their communication issues disappeared. Fucking imagine that. So I write up the exceptions again and their problems are fixed. I wasn't altogether pleased with myself, but relieved at that point that I wasn't going to have to spend an entire day monkeying around with this software again.

At least until I got a call from the owner about 2 hours later...

"Hey we can't find this new profile we signed up for."

"Name?"

"It's for Nationwide."

"And they're on 27.1?"

"No, 27.0"

"Sonofa...Xactware support strikes again."

"What do you mean?"

"They told me when I installed 27.1 that it was just a service pack and no dual license version of it would be necessary. You should have the chat log in your email."

"This mean we're seeing you tomorrow anyway?"

"Yep, just shouldn't be an all day thing..."

To round things up:

- An online chat rep didn't have a clue about the disappearing text issue.
- An online chat rep lied about the need for a dual license version.
- An online chat rep didn't have a clue about "No version selected."
- The Blackberry app installation apparently screws with server firewall settings (not completely verified).
- The rep named "Steve" knows his shit.
- The rep named "Devin" needs to find another profession.
- The rep named "Jonah" needs to learn how to back up all data.

And this is all before I install the dual license version of version 27, which fortunately was a blank database because they haven't done any work with the one, single, insurance company that's still using it. Even then, there were still unnecessary hassles that could have been prevented if the Xactware techs were competent and the developers actually tried to install their software on stuff other than their own machines before releasing it to the public.


And as usual, all force-fed shitcakes have the icing that appears after the initial taste of shit subsides. That icing?

On my way home last Friday, text from the franchise owner where I live...

"Hey, we need 27.1 and blackberry app set up."

...

Cue the Castle Crashers them. I'm out.