Dr. Q. Tip Us and Dumb Racist Slut

There are not many of us who go through the course of our MMO lives w/o running into someone who is in an online relationship. A lot of people are going to have their opinions on said relationship, but fact of the matter is that they're here and they're here to stay. Especially with the rise of match-making service sites like Match.com or eHarmony.com.

Obviously, the purpose of any relationship is to reach that whole "til death do us part" part of life. In order to reach that, there has to be some element of realness to it and I'm not just referring to actually meeting, talking on the phone etc. I'm referring to being realistic about the odds of an online relationship transcending the online world to begin with.

I was inspired to post about this by a subject who I'll leave nameless since even speaking her name would attract her to my blog and give her what she wants (attention). How I came to be aware of this person's blog (we'll call her "Dumb Racist Slut") was via post she made on BG with a link to it. Reading her blog is seriously like watching a train wreck unfold before you at 1 frame per second. Combine the ignorance she possesses with her adjective selection along with her seemingly infinite capacity for attentional need (good and bad) and you basically have FFXI's version of a Jerry Springer subject to entertain you (or piss you off...).

Anyway, a few weeks ago, the announcement is made that the love of her life dumped her. This is after she spent some time gushing about how this love of her life was the love of her life yada yada. A couple weeks later, we find that...through a singles ad placed somewhere, she finds another girl. And this girl is now the love of her life.

I'm all for people finding happiness...but really now...two weeks? Online? After being dumped?

Can anyone else smell the rebound here?

That's the simple part to see. The part that actually amuses/irritates me the most is what I like to call...

Desperation.

Most people with any amount of common sense can see this particular example is now 99.99999999% doomed for failure, but it's this sort of relationship that is actually rather common in the MMO dating scene. I've been in several online/long-distance relationships myself, but again, it really doesn't take that sort of experience to see the delusion in this.

Y'see...the vast majority of people who invest a lot of time in video games have one or more of the following issues (NOTE I SAID THE VAST MAJORITY, NOT EVERYONE):

1. Low self-esteem.
2. Poor social skills.
3. Unemployed.
4. Lazy/Lack of motivation.

(If you truly don't have any of those 4 things, then congratulations, you have a very nice, secure livelihood, can pass Go and collect $200).

Dumb Racist Slut is a classic example of a combination of 1 and 2. That combination often times will lead to the inability to actually leave the house to do anything other than go to work. Because of this...and because of our subject's attention whore mentality...we find various acts like pictures of her anatomy being posted in various forums and extreme opinions voiced with extreme words. She just wants you to listen to her speak and she wants to feel like her opinions actually matter.

So, enter the first person after getting dumped. At the first sign of attraction, Desperate Dumb Racist Slut will clamp on tighter than a pair of camel-toe revealing spandex. +10 to tightness if target actually returns signs of affection. This is NOT the way to go about developing an online relationship. It's a temporary band-aid for an emotional wound at best. The problem with temporary band-aids for emotional wounds is that unless both sides understand that it's exactly a temporary band-aid for an emotional, that wound isn't going to heal thus sending our subject spiraling further down into the depths of desperation.

We then start to see questions like:

WHY DOES NO ONE LOVE ME?!??!
(read your own blog and posts...the answer is there, I promise)

AM I UNATTRACTIVE??!?!?!
(read your own blog and posts...the answer is there, I promise)

WHY DO I HAVE NO FRIENDS?!??!?!
(read your own blog and posts...the answer is there, I promise)

WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY PEOPLE TO DO THINGS WITH ME IN GAME?!??!!
(read your own blog and posts...the answer is there, I promise)

And the list goes on...

It isn't practical at all to fall head over heels for someone so quickly in a long distance relationship. If you speak over the phone, great. If you feel a connection, great. But for God's sake, at least spend a couple months getting to know someone or at least meet them face to face before you invest your emotions completely in one person.

"But I can't help how I feel and I want to express it to them!"

...uh-huh. Self-control already isn't Desperate Dumb Racist Slut's strong point so I guess this only fits the pattern.

Conclusion

There is no help for our subject today. Dumb Racist Slut is unfortunately the type of societal member that is best compared to that family member no one wants at weddings and family reunions, but manages to show up anyway completely unaware that they weren't invited. Inbred would probably try to hook up with her if she were related, but even he would be turned off the second she opened her mouth and spoke.

(Cause odds are...the first words out of her mouth if any form of attraction was shown to her would be "I love you".)

Unfortunately, she's the perfect example of why reality TV shows are successful.

People love train wrecks. You put some abs or some boobs on someone that's even remotely attractive, have them shown off as much as possible, let their natural stupidity take over in the various situations they're placed and voila! Ratings! Entertainment!


- This has been Dr. Q. Tip Us and I'm glad I could help. :)