Frustrations and Pet Peeves Vol. 1.

We all have these. Instead of more math today, I'm just going to throw out a bulleted list of crap I run into on a day to day basis that irriates me to no end. Most aren't FF-related, but most people can probably relate to some degree...

• The person blocking traffic in a parking lot for 10 minutes waiting on a car to pull out when there was an empty space 3 spaces before it they could have parked in and walked into the store by the time the car they waited on pulled out. No wonder people look at our country as fat. WALK THE EXTRA TEN STEPS FUCKERS.
• Walking down a main aisleway in a big-box store only to have my normal pace slowed down to a crawl by a family deciding to walk 6-wide and block the whole damn aisle while they talk on their cell phones. GTFO OF THE WAY.
• The guy that orders $40 worth of food in the Taco Bell drive thru (or any drive-thru for that matter). GO IN AND GET THAT SHIT.
• And on that note, the guy/gal that puts the drive-thru 'on hold' while they call up someone to find out what they want to order. HELPS TO KNOW THAT SHIT BEFORE PULLING INTO THE DRIVE-THRU ASSHOLES.
• The asshole doing 1mph over the speed limit in the passing lane w/o passing anyone. REALLY GOT THE PEDAL TO THE METAL THERE CHUMP.
• The customer who feels like getting me to fix their malware-infested computer requires me to know their entire life story while other customers are trying to reach me. DAMN IT DUDE! I'M A COMPUTER TECH, NOT A PSYCHIATRIST.
• The person taking 157 items into the 20 items or less 'express' lane. Nothing I say in caps here will express just how much this pisses me off.
• The person on the highway that can't figure out how fast they want to go, but won't let you pass them. ISN'T CRUISE CONTROL STANDARD BY NOW?!?!?
• Being asked "Would you like anything else?" more than once by a drive-thru operator. "THAT'S ALL" AND "NO" AREN'T ENOUGH OF AN ANSWER FOR YOU??! STOP BABBLING TO YOUR CO-WORKER AND PAY ATTENTION.
• Drink spillage on the side of a cup. WHY CAN'T YOU WIPE THAT OFF BEFORE YOU HAND IT TO ME YOU FUCKING TOOL?!??! DO I LOOK LIKE I KEEP A RAG OR EXTRA NAPKINS AROUND IN MY CAR FOR THIS?!?!
• The hidden grease pocket/condiments spill. Nothing like taking a bite out of my sandwich only to have it's guts spew out the other end onto my shirt or pants.
• Over-filled drink cup that spills all over the place when you put your straw in. THANKS FOR THE EXTRA DRINK, BUT MY CUPHOLDER AND CUP LID WEREN'T THIRSTY.
• And while on drinks from fast food places, nothing like the employee who is apparently unable to put a lid on said cup correctly resulting in the first tip of of the cup causing you to dribble your drink down your shirt. LIDS USUALLY SNAP IN PLACE AND...I DON'T KNOW...LOOK LEVEL WHEN THEY'RE PLACED ON CORRECTLY.
• The DSL internet service sales call at 6:30 in the morning when I already have DSL service. PERFECT WAY TO START OFF MY DAY. YOU MADE MY DECISION TO SWITCH TO CABLE A HELL OF A LOT EASIER.
• The party with two bards camping on top of a party with one bard (Omoikitte) that has Izman, Ringthree and myself in it. DO YOU NOT SEE THE HUGE BLUE WEAPON ON MY BACK. DO YOU NOT SEE THE FULL/NEAR SETS OF SALVAGE GEAR. DO YOU NOT SEE THE GUY WHO IS MAN ENOUGH TO WEAR AN ANUS TICKLER ON HIS HEAD? YOU WILL NOT KILL FASTER THAN US JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE TWO BARDS. (this one is especially true when I see said 2 bard party showing up with PUP and a PLD...)
• The guy who likes to fight over anything. Can usually be found mouthing off at someone who accidentally bumped into him. BIG MUSCLES ARE NOT ALWAYS BETTER THAN COMMON SENSE.
• Little old ladies giving me the middle finger for no reason whatsoever. For some reason, this has happened twice while I was driving and all I did was flash my lights to get them to move over out of the fast lane they were going "10mph under the speed limit fast" in. Nothing I say in caps will really have any effect on this since seeing two 80+ year old ladies giving the middle finger to me is just flat fkn hilarious in it's own right...but irritating cause you know there's nothing you can really do to respond to that. Also...isn't the middle finger far less effective to give to someone when you're over the age of 60?
• Empty construction zones. THANKS FOR SLOWING ME DOWN FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER.
• Speaking of construction zones, tractor trailers passing me in said zone, but I get pulled over for going 5mph over shortly after I've been passed and are clearly falling behind said tractor trailer. LOVE OUR MEN IN BLUE SOMETIMES.
• Lastly, the guy who pulls up next to you at a stop light and wants to race. Floors it when the light changes green and probably feels great about leaving a 4-door sedan in the dust not knowing the driver of said 4-door sedan doesn't give a rat's ass about his 0-60 time making him stain his pants. DRIVE SAFELY ASSHOLE. RACE ON A RACETRACK.

If anyone has any of these, feel free to post 'em. In addition to a column like this from time to time, I'm going to start up a work stories column where I tell stories about my various interactions with some of my more memorable customers.